Envy, Doubt, and Jealousy

Okay, let’s get serious. How many times do you log on to Facebook, scroll thru the glowing images of smiling faces, baby-bumped bellies, delicious food at fancy abroad places and then read the captions about how awesome their life is and yours basically blows in comparison. 

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It’s like this strange sadistic drug that sucks you in and won’t let go. You start seeing everyone else’s awesomeness and start feeling insecure, thinking “what is wrong with me?”, ” why am I not in Italy snorkeling?”, “why don’t I own a house?” “why am I not some successful designer with my own firm, renovating the White House?!” Feelings of doubt and insecurity start to take over every normal, rational feeling. 

Apparently, this year there was even a study of Facebook users discovering that after reading the various status updates of their friends, they suddenly started feeling insecure with their own lives and became envious of others, and consequently, the more friends you had, the worse it got. 

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Facebook isn’t the only place where doubt of your daily life can start to sink in, in the profession that I am in, I meet people everyday with more money and power than God. Where shelling out 2,000 bones on some throw pillows ain’t no thang and they don’t blink an eye at paying my years rent on an ottoman that is going in a closet. You start to become morphed into this strange world, where you’re talking to Diane Keaton or Reese Witherspoon and then you’re all jazzed and yeah, I can buy this, and better yet, I SHOULD and DESERVE to buy this, but oh…wait…yeah…I’m totally NOT a part of that world. Darn it. Hollywood messes with your head. 

At a recent TED event in Houston, Nilofer Merchant discussed this very dilemma. She termed the word “onlyness”, which is the thing that only that one individual can bring to a situation. It embodies the journey and the passions of each individual. Onlyness is essentially about honoring each individual: first as we view ourselves and second as we are valued. “Each of us is standing in a spot that no one else occupies” Merchant states.

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“That unique point of view is born of our accumulated experience, perspective, and vision. Some of those experiences are not as ‘perfect’ as we might want, but even those experiences are a source for what you create.” For example, the individual who has a relative with a disease, might grow up to work in the medical field and discover a cure for that disease.  The person who was raised in an oppressed environment could end up voicing out for freedom of speech and enhance their country. “This individualonlyness is the fuel of vast creativity, innovations, and adaptability.”

So, long story short. Don’t be jealous. Embrace you. Keep being awesome. 

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I must find this book. Now. 

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3 thoughts on “Envy, Doubt, and Jealousy

  1. Great post – and it’s so true. I’ve often found myself feeling inadequate at life after reading about Facebook updates or after rubbing elbows with fancy pants people at work. I hope that you do find that book. And when you do, please share! 🙂

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